Being brave, bad, conflicted

I have to wonder sometimes why what should be simple is so complicated. Why I don't have an opportunity to defend myself against something that is not wrong. Yes vague but wouldn't want to create more conflict. In my life it seems to pour when it rains. I am always amazed at how in one day I can experience so many different emotions. Today was one of those days. Lost a friend, not to death but to a relationship. I guess there is a season for everything. Not at all happy about why it happened or the reason for it. Feel like my friend is getting the short end of the stick. Makes me angry as hell. I'll abide by it even if it wrong, it's what it is. Just had enjoyment out of the friendship. May have even caused a lost opportunity for a new friendship. The old chapter in my life my actually be almost finished, divorce could be soon (yeah after 2 1/2 years). I have come to realize that although I was blessed with much during my marriage, I also lost a lot of me. So I guess it is time for me to really discover me again.