Love you Mom

Wow, it’s been a whirlwind journey since Pastor Brenda called me on the 8th, to let me know she had convinced Mom to go to the emergency room.  43 days to be exact.   So I thought I’d share what I have witnessed about Mom’s last journey of faith and more importantly what I discovered about the person known as Mom, Sister, Grandmother, Friend, LG, Sister or Miss Linda, Linda, and Linda Linda, a member of Woman With a Call and a congregational member of Royal Kingdom Ministries,

This journey started when Pastor Brenda who is also a friend of Mom’s, thought, “You know Linda hasn't been at church gatherings the last few days, (because pretty sure Mom didn't miss much of anything going on.) Brenda knew Mom had been sick and took the time to come to Mom’s house. She persevered by knocking at the door continuously, called Pastor Cereda who then continually called the house until Mom answered.  Mom’s world shifted that night, from one who served others to one who would be served & ministered to.  All our lives and the world as we knew it expanded and contracted along with her over the last weeks.  

Mom handled the pathology and radiology news a week later, her birthday of all days, with such calmness and fortitude along with a dose of disbelief.  Overwhelming news, to say the least.  Thus began the physical, emotional and spiritual journey of Mom’s last days.  She chose to not turn away from God.  Instead she questioned Him, conversed with Him, allowed Him to speak to her heart, mind and soul and continued in her relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  She continued to be the Linda and Mom we all know. She was goofy at times sharing with us her Groucho Marx impression, and wearing silly headgear.  She went into gotta get it done mode more than once, getting up in the middle of the night without my sister’s realizing it, earning her the name Snoop Mouse.  

So a little of Mom’s back story.  Mom became reborn in Christ in 1979, she continued to grow in Christ and the Word of God, to find comfort in the promises written in the Bible.  I ran across two pieces of paper in her bible specifically naming my sister’s and I, I believe the first note was dated in the 90’s.  How wonderful to know that your Mother prays for you, she was interceding between us and God through prayer. Mom preserved in her belief and practice of faith, she believed and hoped much for her children and grandchildren, even when others didn't understand or even want to understand.  During these last weeks, I discovered that my Mom practiced her walk, continued to dig into God’s word through study, stumbled on occasion but continued to get back up and pursue the invitation God gives each of us, simply a relationship with Him.  

I want to share a part of my experience of Mom’s journey.  “Bridging the gap, if the veil of history is lifted off and you see the heart of the person.” is a statement that came to me in reference to Mom, on December 15th.  All I could think of after that, is how did she bridge and what gap? I came to the conclusion that she bridged the gap through her life story. I experienced a moment with Mom, concerning the Bridging the Gap statement, I was sitting with her, Deborah and Jill who had come to visit and Mom began to share a revelation she had had, much of what had formed in my head concerning the why and wherefores of the gap statement.   Her first word when she began sharing was Bridge, then the gap.  It caused me to begin crying and then she began to cry.  The tears lasted for only a moment, but I shall always treasure that connection with Mom.  I want to share what she had written in her journal,

It started off with: you are an irritant to people because they didn't know your essence. This is what she listed as irritants: I was to bubbly or happy, I trusted people, I liked other cultures, coming back to the Lord, I grew in the Lord and I absorbed it.  I find it sad but truthful, that she experienced and believed she was an irritant to those in her life, sadder still that I was one of those people on occasion.

What I do know is God found a way for Mom to Bridge the Gap.  I will say, that I am confident especially in her latter years that she could simply be herself.  She remained bubbly, embraced and trusted people from all walks of life, and continued a relationship with the Lord.  Mom’s story reminds me of how a pearl is formed, maybe that’s why she liked them so much.  Because without an irritant an oyster can’t make a pearl, layer upon layer create a pearl just as years of living create a life story.  It takes a long time for a pearl to gain luster, smoothness, shape and size.  Mom didn’t start out that way but was formed over the years into the woman who has left us.  Sometimes it takes an irritant to smooth out the rough edges in our lives, I’m so fortunate to have had Mom help shape my life.  I am certain that each layer of Mom’s life created a lustrous pearl, and those irritants that she shared with us has shaped and has given luster to the lives she touched.  I know it has mine.

I see similarities to the Apostle Paul’s life, I always like Paul’s transformation.  I like that God uses many of the same character traits each of us has before knowing Christ, to further God’s kingdom. She knew in her heart she was strengthened by God’s promises.  She knew she was loved and held by God.  Mom bridged the gap of faith and living in practice of God’s word and the teachings of Christ. To love all people, all nations according to the Word of God. Out of that bridging, we, my sisters have been blessed in getting to know two amazing women we consider sisters, and she considered daughters.  He provided opportunity for her to share her gifts and talents through ministry at Raah House, Royal Kingdom, and Women With a Call to name a few.  Her enthusiasm for praise and worship was contagious to anyone who allowed it.  She sought out humor and shared laughter with many.  I’m betting anyone here can think of one event that will cause you to chuckle, again a blessing.  She experienced cultures all over the world both in personal trips and ministry trips.  She walked and grew in her relationship with the Lord.  She pursued learning and studying God’s word, becoming a minister.  She simply believed that, in truth, all of us including her are “Fearfully and wonderfully made.”

I believe this opportunity to participate in the last days of Mom’s life provided me and those close to her with the revelation of her life and of her heart. 1 Corinthians 13:11 says: When I was a child, I was speaking as a child, I was led as a child, I was thinking as a child, but when I became a man, I ceased these childish things. As a daughter and now a Mother, I know that how I parented my first is not entirely the same as I parented my last.  I know my children are somewhat happy about that. I had to realize that my mother is not the parent she once was, she grew and changed just as any mother will.  I know the woman who lies here today is not the same person who I knew when I was much younger. I know Mom was willing and open to the word of Lord.  Mom used to talk about a closed spirit, it’s good to know her spirit wasn't closed off.  I've read her notes, she dug deep, scraping through the layers that living day to day, month to month and year to year create in all of us.  What I found in reading her notes and observing her transition to death, was her heart remained open to serve the Lord.  I believe my sister’s and I and anyone whose life has been touched by Mom saw this during her last days, if they hadn't seen it before.  I witnessed a woman who believed that God kept his promise to her.  Her notes and prayers confirmed that, may not have happened in the way she expected but it did happen.

In conclusion, Mom was worried that she wasn't leaving an inheritance.  I asked her, if your goal was to raise daughters who wanted a monetary inheritance, then she had failed.  But if her true goal was to leave an inheritance and legacy of striving for excellence, of humor, of basic character traits, that forgiveness is important whether giving or receiving and that faith in Christ can transform your life, then she succeeded. Mom was all about potential.  I haven’t heard Mom often say anything negative against someone, Mom knew what it meant to be torn down and put aside.  I think that is why she accepted and embraced people the way she did. She wasn't perfect, because in truth none of us are. 

Mom’s legacy and our inheritance is displayed in each one of us, in some fashion. Mom did strive for the fruits of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  She has sown the seed of faith through acts of service and ministry all over the world. She has prayed for her family, for her community and for the world.  She has shown what it means to live a life not according to the world, but according to the Word of God.  She believed that God would fulfill His promise to all of us, even if we don’t know the way in which it will happen.  There is a scripture prayer that helped her throughout many years of her life, I believe it provided her with the fortitude to experience all the hardships and the joys that come with loving and allowing others to participate in your life, and so many people have been a part of her life.  She didn't hide away, she raised her arm ( can you see her doing that motion), stepped when she didn't know what was under her and went forward in faith that God had purpose and plan for her life.  The scripture is from Isaiah 54:17  But in that coming day, no weapon turned against you shall succeed, and you will have justice against every courtroom lie. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord. This is the blessing I have given you, says the Lord.  

It’s been an unforgettable journey filled with every emotion under the sun. She has given love, been loved and is loved by many.  I know I will miss her more than I can imagine. Grace, peace, praise and Love Mom.